Memphis is dead, New York is comatose Detroit is alive and breathing Writhing and thrashing for now, for now I am sticky with love and sick with guilt The image of God is in the city smog, watching me Cry on the bathroom floor of a man who treated my beauty as some disease Watching me chop the tail off a squirrel we found dead in the road with a machete and nail it to the porch Watching me split wood in the backyard with my weak arms and diaphanous dress Watching me with my head in the toilet vomiting up a gut full of PBR Watching me hold back tears during sex because touch is a fleeting deity Watching me smoke my lungs into an early oblivion Watching me read the script of Paris, Texas Picturing myself as some Travis in the desert Wandering for miles after setting fire to what I love Watching me tear the inside of my lip open with my own teeth Watching me sing "Bullet Proof I Wish I Was", wishing truly that I was Watching me take a deep deep breath as I feel that I am almost somewhere Watching me dry heave onto the page Watching me wish my old lover a very happy birthday Watching me pretend that this time I really know what I want Watching me find hope, watching me lose it Watching me and doing nothing but laughing Again, I am nowhere to be found Life consists of love and it's subsequent hangovers